☮About The Artist: Behind a Paradoxical Enigma☮
When asked to describe Myself I can't help but take pause, how am I to describe Myself with something as inert at words? While I struggle with describing Myself, I shall try. In short, I am a paradox wrapped in an allegory encompassed as an enigma. That is to say I, just as other humans, am complex. I have likes, dislikes, opinions, etc. but they do not describe whom I am as a person.
To My very core I am an artist. I have the constant compulsion to express Myself via visual and written art. It is art that is My breath of life. Simply put, without the ability to make art My life would be void of meaning.
I am rather laid-back, but also easily excitable. I enjoy the "simple" things in life, because I find nothing to be simple. I have been described as a "nerd/geek" and I'd have to admit that description is rather accurate. I enjoy sifi shows (such as Doctor Who, Torchwood, Star Trek etc.), anime/manga as well as the Otaku culture in general, I was highly involved in internet culture until recently (think 4chan /b/) due to wanting to focus more on the "real world". As I previously mentioned I am a visual artist but also highly enjoy writing and crafts. As of recent, I've been trying new things, and hope to find a new wonder in some form or fashion each day of My coming life.
I have My demons just as many others and her name is mental illness. I feel I must mention this topic, which is very personal to Me, considering My mental illnesses have been a continuing muse for much of My art. I have been diagnosed with a variety of mental illnesses over the years, most were misdiagnosed as it is hard to diagnose a young child (I began seeing a psychiatrist at the age of 12), but My current health team all agree on My current diagnoses and find them to be what I truly suffer from. I have been professionally diagnosed (either by a psychiatrist or psychologist) with Schizoaffective-Bipolar Type, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Anxiety Disorder NOS, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder-Predominantly Inattentive Type (ADHD-PI) and Chronic Insomnia. I have learned to be very open about My illnesses, as hiding them away and pretending they didn’t exist only let them begin to fester and grow worse with time. Pretending to be what society calls “normal” is just no longer an option for Me if I am ever to recover and gain some sense of functionally in living with these illnesses. I see both a psychologist and psychiatrist regularly and am finally opening up about My illnesses and their severity and seeking out help through various means. One of the best coping skills I have found for dealing with these illnesses is art. Whether it be visual or written (though writing tends to be more of My alter Sarah’s thing), I have found it to be possibly one of the safest and most therapeutic out of all My medications. Yes, I do consider art one of My medications because just like the pills I take everyday, I would die and cease to exist without the ability to make art. Art seems to be the only thing I can count on, reply on, and depending upon in this crazy messed up world.
I hope you find My art interesting. I hope it possibly gives you a look inside what it is like to suffer from these severe mental illnesses and shed light on what it is like to live day to day with these particular illnesses. I hope most of all however, that in some way My art touches you’re very existence and you find some sort of peace in it. - Lily